The emotional impact of armed conflict, sexual assault, domestic violence and child abuse is becoming the most preferred form of entertainment that no longer challenges media’s choice of programming. But takes center stage on the evening news, as we set glued, invited to another episode of man against humanity. Just when you think we’ve had enough a special broadcast of CSI underscores the evils of man in the wake of his own prosperity.
Safe and secure; bound to comfort of television and immune to the effect of incomprehensible victimizations we grow numb and insensitive. Thousands of miles away resting in the shadow of political rhetoric emerges the true victims of terror, our children. Struggling out of an economy plagued by even greater threats of poverty are special incentives to join the armed forces.
Private Jonathan Dixon had just been given his orders to Afghanistan and was immediately dispatched to a convoy, waiting to be resupplied. The supplies never came and the fighting began. Although Jonathan was eager to protect America against terrorism, what he was about to do did not fit. Nevertheless, being plunged into a battle where he was ill-prepared to fight left him stunned, afraid and sorrowful.
An Invitation to PTSD
Suddenly, I was awakened to the residue of cordite resting upon the blurred remains of another urban dwelling. The sandy mist blistering the faces of dehydration, as we stood motionless, awaiting an impending doom or the exhilaration of another battle fruitlessly won. To what or whom do we owe for this playing field of terror? As I wait for another life to drop before the flash of my muzzle I realize that this is no longer a training exercise, but an event that is beyond anything that I could possibly imagine. It is hard to think of life and death as anything real until it’s your turn to play god. Is it God or my mental construct that shields, and insulates me from the pain associated with the task at hand? Without another thought I experienced the periodic flashes of peaceful memories that momentarily occlude what’s before me. I take another breath before I squeeze the trigger. Slowly I exhale and all is at peace. I experience no reward, not even pride, but the emptiness I fill with the order to kill. No time to cry, just glad to not die, and feeling no glory in taking a life.
Not expecting a marching band, just acceptance
Jonathan was honorably discharged from the service, wounded, with two purple hearts, pancreatitis, addicted to pain killers and suicidal. He tried to remember the faces the Afghans and the majestic beauty and culture of those he went to aid, but the inescapable memories of the ugliness of war were too overwhelming. This was most difficult for Jonathan, especially returning home and finding family members afraid of him. “My brother kicked me out of his place because of my nightmares…even though I could barely walk,” he said tearfully.
Desperate and heartbroken, Jonathan called the vet center for assistance. Fortunately he escaped the potential tragedy of ending his own life. After receiving treatment at the VA Palo Alto Healthcare System he was accepted into to the Homeless Veterans Emergency Housing Facility (HVEHF) in Menlo Park California; whereupon receiving mental health treatment was graduated from the VA’s First Step (substance abuse treatment) program. Soon after, Jonathan became a transitional resident and employee of HVEHF. He chose to work at the National Cemetery in Florida. The agency or its veterans have not seen or heard from Jonathan since August of 2010.
Treatment is only as affective as its support
Recovering from PTSD is generally a very slow process. Seldom are people actually cured, but experience a remission - of the sort - from a condition that is often considered a “silent avenger,” awaiting an event or situation that may serve as a trigger to evoke traumatic memories. Unfortunately there still remains many returning to society from combat or abusive situations leaving ‘wounds’ too deep to clean and too wide to cover; creating an emotional avulsion - ripping away all that was good and innocent. Community based understanding of the dynamics and impact of PTSD helps to ease the transition to seek and remain in treatment. Without support more and more victims will continue the downward spiral until they are seen or heard from no more.
We are living in times where the ills of one can and will eventually be forced upon others. With treatment we can curb the cycle of abuse, particularly the harm one poses against self. This in no way is isolated to those suffering from battlefield related trauma, but any experience that causes prolonged suffering.
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Curtis Portley - An original writer is not one who imitates nobody, but one whom nobody can imitate. Francois Rene De Chateaubriand
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